Friday, January 22, 2010

1 year, 9 months and 11 days....



....that is how long my best friend has been gone...




It's been 1 year, 9months and 11 days and it is not getting easier. I long for her. I wish I could have one more phone call, one more hug, one more laugh. I have really been missing her lately. It is the most random times when I miss her the most. Driving home from work is the WORST. We used to talk everyday at 5 pm on our way home. I haven't let myself erase her number from my phone...maybe it's time. I get depressed every time I see her name in my addresses. I haven't got to the point where I think about her and smile because of the wonderful times we had...When I think of her I just get really sad because I don't have her anymore. I know this is selfish but I guess everyone grieves differently. I miss her so much. I have a picture of Nicole and I in our living room and Madison LOVES it...here are pics of her looking at it today...




I ask her "Where is Auntie Nicole?" and she points to her..


Then she kisses her...so sweet!



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On a lighter note, here are a couple pictures of my beauty from today...




A few days ago...coloring for the first time!


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Don't forget......


FEB 7-14 is CONGENITAL HEART DEFECT AWARENESS!

7 comments:

Tiffany Lockette said...

What happened to Nicole if you don't mind me asking? It is so very hard to love someone who means so much to you. I hope each day gets a little easier and you get to the days where you can think of her and smile, remember the good times rather than be sad. So sorry your heart is heavy today.

Tiffany Lockette said...

I meant to lose someone you are so close to rather than love.

ShannonLeideker said...

Tiffany- Nicole was giving birth to her little girl and she suffered a brain aneurysm. They did an emergency c-section and her daughter survived but she passed 2 days later. It is still very hard to believe....Thanks for your kind words.

Crystal said...

I am so sorry Shannon!!! I too lost a best friend, 8 years ago. It is awful. I know everything you are feeling and it is tough. There is no other way to describe it. It will get easier with time. I remember those hard times (lots of them), when every single time I got in the car I would bawl, just because one word in every song would remind me of her or times we had. It's hard, but you will get there girl.. you will.

oh goodness!! Look at that sweet girl. I love love love the pictures!!! She is beautiful!!!

How fun- Bentley LOVES to color. She sees her sister coloring all the time so she thinks she is "big stuff" coloring. It's so darn cute.

ps. I love CHD awareness week. I have a feeling I will drive my facebook friends crazy!!!

The Carter's said...

Hey. I came across your blog through another heart mom's and just wanted to check out your little Madi. She's adorable! I have a 'heart baby' too. His name is Derrick, and he has a single ventricle. Madi looks great and she is absolutely precious!

Your post caught my eye because I lost my best friend since third grade almost four years ago. It was more difficult than I could have ever imagined, and I cried (and still do) so much. You will eventually get to the point where you can talk about her and laugh and smile, and cry tears of joy for having her in your life. It's not easy, but it will come in time. In YOUR time.

I'll be praying for your healing, and for that precious little girl!

Heart hugs,
shannon
www.carolinacarters.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

This post makes me sooo sad....I hurt when you hurt. We all miss Nicole terribly, and it's okay to feel sad, you have to grieve in your own way.
You have a fantastic husband and a amazing daughter, I hope that helps you thru this process. Chris and Madi love you soo much! (Dad & I do too)
Just remember that you are so lucky to have so many sweet memories to hold onto until the day you can see her again!
Love you so much!
MOM

Abigail said...

I've lost friends before, but never a bestfriend. I can only imagine the pain you still feel. I'm so sorry that it hasn't gotten a little easier over time. :-(

Do you know how Nicole's little one is doing?